Bottle

Today is the first day that Molly has not had a bottle. When Molly turned 12 months, the doctor said, "okay just stop giving her the bottle, go cold turkey, it is the best way" she said this in a very thick Spanish accent so I might be off a little bit.

I couldn't do it.

So I did what I do for every other problem/issue I have with Molly and I googled it. Just like with everything else lots of conflicting information and I just went with my gut. When she turned one year old, she moved into a different class room at child care and they said they don't give the babies bottles unless I specifically told them too. So really I was just giving her a bottle in the morning and at night. Then two weeks ago I stopped giving her a bottle in the morning and then tonight we didn't give her one before bed.

The only problems I see so far is: 1. Raymond and I are probably more in love with the bottle then Molly is and 2. It seems like she is sucking her thumb much more today than any other day.

Raymond has been more resistant to loosing the bottle than I have been. I am not sure if he is resistant because the bottle makes things so easy or if he realizes she moving on to being a toddler. Not sure, but I have to convince him when I am making these huge changes. Can you imagine the struggle I am going to have with him and her when I go to potty train? Ugh.

I did read that some babies have a strong suckling desire and if you take them off the bottle too soon they will find something to suck. Does this mean that I took her off too soon since she is sucking her thumb more? Sometimes it just feels like your damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Pageant Mom

Okay, I might go a little crazy on all the photo's of Molly but this obsession really started in the 6th grade when I got my first 110 camera. Really. My husband still thinks this is weird and told me that if he comes home and Molly has make-up on, he is taking her and running away.

Here is a our latest photo session.

If you understand my love of boa's you will totally get this picture.

"Horn's in the air, bitches"

Yes, she is that good.

"I need more tambourine"



Please note the fabulous jewels, given to her by the crazy lady from PA!

Too much?

Cleaning

Raymond: "You know if you saw someone else's bathroom, that looked like ours you would talk shit."

Me: "What?"

Raymond: "You would never let someone get away with it."

This conversation took place Saturday evening before bed. He is so right. I don't know what happened to me. My bathroom was so gross and I can only admit to this because none of you can see it. He took Molly out on a bike ride Sunday morning and I......I cleaned my bathroom from floor to ceiling and now I want to sleep in there because it is the cleanest room I got.

Raymond always says that you can tell if someone is working hard, just look to see if their tongue is out.

Easter

I can't believe it how long this has taken me to write. Time just flies! Easter was pretty uneventful for us. Raymond had to work the weekend and our plan was to go to the fire station for an Easter egg hunt. However, wind + dry conditions = fires = party was cancelled.

Easter Sunday we woke up to an Easter basket full of goodies. I debated over getting her an Easter basket because I think she is too young to know or even care and why waste the money? But in the long run I like to play, so the child care place where she goes to was having a fund raiser for families that are having a rough time, financially so I bid on this basket and won! Yeah! It was perfect because there wasn't any candy but had a beanie baby, bunny ears, coloring book, crayons, a book, stickers, scissors and a few other nick knacks. I don't feel like this was a waste because the money went to charity and we can use this stuff later on and I didn't have to eat any of it!

Molly had a pretty green dress that her Aunt Nelly gave her but within..oooh..I would say five minutes she spit up. She rarely spits up but today, she had a pretty dress on and just couldn't resist.

We ended up going to a state park, had a picnic and a little hike and came back home. Nice simple day, couldn't ask for much more.

Picture of Molly in her second Easter dress for the day.

Crawling Treadmill

Does it make me a bad mom that I find this totally hilarious?

Walking

I am not sure what will make Molly an official "walker" but today she has progressed in her walking skills. She took off walking from the couch into the living room, even fell a few times but just picked herself up.

I also just got access on-line to Molly's one year old birthday pictures and I must share them. Here a few of my favorites.

Thank You, Oprah!

I worry alot about being a good mom. ALOT. I resisted having a baby for a long time because I was so scared of being a bad mom. Now I eat out of nervousness (yeah, now I have an excuse) and grow gray hairs because I am concerned that I don't talk to her enough, I don't stimulate her enough, I used a plastic container that had BPA, I used a lotion that caused her rash, that I don't spend enough time with her....oh shit maybe I spend too much time with her and she will be dependent on me and don't get me started on immunizations.

I see other mommy's out in public and they are all smiles, with nice clothes and brushed hair and then there is me with my Liberian bun and stains on my white hanes t-shirts. Sometimes I am really tired and feel like the weight of the world is riding on my butt. Other mommy's don't really look like this to me. I really have felt alone in the new mommy journey and feel like I am the only person to go through this.

I do have an amazing husband but I don't think he truly understands. I have been following a few "mommy blogs" that makes me feel like there might possibly be others like me but today has been the best day for my mommy self esteem.

I don't typically watch Oprah, but I read she was doing a show on motherhood so I tuned in. It was all about motherhood and mommy's sharing secrets. There were ladies on there admitting that they had not taken showers in weeks, that their relationships with their husbands had changed and one admitted that she gathered her kids school lunch from the snacks she had in the car. There is even a book that two mommy's wrote about "mommy confessions". I think I will get it and make sure there are women out there like me that really can't seem to get it together.

Thank you Oprah, although other women might not be wearing old, stained, white, hanes t-shirt, or going around with un-brushed hair there are others who feel less than adequate. As sad as it is, it makes me feel better.