Learning to Mom

Monday, October 31, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Grandma

My grandpa Bryce, grandma Peggy, my mother, Aunt Leslie and Aunt Kathy, Christmas of 1953.

I haven't been expressing my feelings or talking about this because I don't know how.

How do I say it? How do I cope with it?

I just don't know.

My rock, the only person in my life who I have always known where she would be, how to get a hold of her at any time, I still know the only two phone number she has had since my birth by memory, is gone.

During my childhood I have always lived near my grandma. I lived one street behind her house, in an apartment across the Oligarchy ditch, lived with her during various times but always within in a 10 mile radius until I joined the Army.

I mowed her grass and dusted her elephants and angels (for a small price :) ). Had many of hot dogs wrapped in tortillas for dinner with her. Made fun of her for keeping a huge stock pile of canned goods in her panty. Spent a summer driving her around since I had a learner's permit and she had a hip replacement. I wonder how many soft serve ice cream cones we had that summer? We also spent hours in her sewing room making dolls, which I still have along with a few other dolls and afghans she made.

We spent every Christmas morning together. Where ever we were she would come spend Christmas Eve with us to eat tacos and burritos and sleep on our couch only to have my sister and I wake her up super early. This is a picture of once such Christmas morning. I had to have been sitting beside her because of the stockpile of gifts beside her are definitely mine. The doll I named "Tattoo" my mother made me and is in my hope chest with the other dolls I have been lugging around.

My favorite or maybe most unforgettable Christmas gift my grandma gave me....a pair of red polyester, lace trimmed handmade panties.

Here is a picture of one Christmas morning at my grandma's house. She made the dolls for me and my sister (I still have mine, mine is the yellow hair doll with the red dress).

After I joined the Army I always considered where my grandma was to be my home. I always went back to her. During the summer of 1992 I came home from Korea and my friend, Keith took these pictures. They have always been my favorite because of the colors and because the first picture looks normal enough and the second picture you can tell she is pinching/tickling me. It was always hard to tell what she was trying to do.

Summer of 1992

During this summer, while on leave we drove up to South Dakota where my mother and sister where. My sister had just given birth to my nephew Tyler and we took a road trip to go see him. I have had a few road trips with my grandma but, this one was the first one as an adult and we had real conversations where I really got to know her a bit more instead of the adult - child relationship we had previously. Meaning she only nagged a few times about my driving.

My grandma had been battling cancer since March of this year. I got to visit with her in March and in early September I missed my flight to go see her (Raymond got caught up at work and got home late), then I had a flight to go see her first weekend in October and she passed away a few days before I made it. I am unsure how I feel about this, according to other family members she was not herself and I remember her how she was, I think I would have been scared to see her any other way then strong, sassy, intelligent woman that I thought she was.

I still have a reminder on my phone to call her every Wednesday and I just can't get myself to take the reminder of my phone. Like maybe if I keep it there, she is really still in Nebraska and I can just call her later.

Random memories and photos:

I do not know the year of this photo but, thought she would like it because she looks so skinny.

This had to be 1982 or 83ish and I just thought it was a hilarious costume, she is Annie.

Didn't write the date on this photo either but it was a day trip up Trail Ridge Road, this had to be 1984ish, just due to my awesome hair style and the turned up collar.

Last picture I have. She came to visit when Molly came home from the hospital March 2008.

I love her and I don't want to miss her.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Day Trippin - Land of Enchantment - A Place Apart

No, not New Mexico, today we went Enchanted Rock State Natural Area! On my quest to look at rocks this is one of my favorites. It is a huge, pink granite rock that is about 425 feet that you can climb all the way to the top! It is actually a large batholith that has been exposed due to erosion. I won't bore you too much geology stuff just because I am just now realizing that there are only a few of us that get excited about a rock. Really, I thought this stuff was exciting to everyone but, hubby has just recently told be differently. hmmm, I didn't know. In any case, this formation is a batholith and was due to a volcano and its magma.

We went to the park rangers office that has the whole history of the batholith and the who, what, where, when's and all about erosion and what to look for. I will say that Molly was not interested so, not too much time was spent here. Raymond and myself have been here a few time pre-Molly so it was okay.

Start of the hike...lots of sass and energy here.

There are two different trails you can take. You can climb up the rock or you can hike around the rock, we chose to hike up the rock.

Going strong.

Getting steeper.

It is not too bad but it does get to be very tiring carrying 30 lbs on your back, meaning Molly only wanted to walk for a little bit before she starting saying "my legs are tired".

And we are done.

Lots of drama, here.

After all this hard work, we had a picnic and headed home.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Day Trippin - Keeping Austin Weird

This day trip was a bit different because, well we go to Austin everyday. However, this day trip was to find murals. We were a bit short on time so we only went to the obvious before we headed for lunch. The Greeting from Austin Postcard Mural is a tourist favorite mural so we just had to find it. Of course there is very little room to take a good photo for an amateur like myself but, in any case, I can check this off my bucket list.

This mural, Hi, How are you? is down around the UT campus. It became famous when Kurt Cobain wore a t-shirt with the mural on it, but it was done by Daniel Johnston who was a musician and an artist. This was done for one of his albums and a local music store asked him to paint this (or something) on the side of their store. The record store is no longer there but the mural has stayed with the support of local Austinite's.

MOOOOOO!

Okay maybe not so much a mural but, you know I love this cut out things. This is at Phil's Ice House that has a playground and Amy's ice cream at the restaurant. We had burgers here and finished it up with a diet coke and was able to get out of there without getting any ice cream. I know, how could I? This is a childhood passage that I just robbed my daughter of. Next time, I promise.

When we were at the Greetings for Austin mural I walked across the street in hopes of getting a better picture. Molly wanted to take a better picture too so she came with me. My hilarious husband told Molly and I to pose for a picture. I did not know what was written beside us on the wall, only when I went to look at the pictures.