Dear Molly,
Happy Birthday, Baby. Today is not only your first birthday it also marks the one year anniversary of motherhood for me. This is a very important day and I had visions of all the things I was going to write to you, all the changes and all they ways you have effected my life. But baby, today was a bad day. I hate to say it but it was bad. I am not sure if it is the upper respiratory infection you are getting over, maybe new teeth coming in or that your nap schedule is all out of whack. It seems like everyone knew today was your birthday and you were supposed to have a good day, except for you.
We started off the day with you not wanting to wake up, then when I picked you up from child care about 1:00 pm, you fell asleep in the car. At 3:40 pm I decided I probably ought to wake you up because we had a picture appointment and I wanted you to sleep tonight. I would say this was a rookie mistake because you were very upset with me. At the portrait studio you did not want to sit still and wanted to crawl, crawl, crawl. You threw the biggest temper tantrum to date. I did not know what to do with you, I would have done anything to include: giving you a cigarette and a beer if it would have made you happy (and if it was social acceptable).
We wrapped up the day with a walk around the neighborhood. The weather has been so nice and you are most happy outside. At least our day ended in good spirits. So on the brighter side.................this year has been quite a year. I would have never guessed that such a little person can make such a big impact. Life has changed dramatically for me.
I have always been a selfish person and now my life revolves around you. How much milk did she have, how much food is she eating, did she have a poopies, what clothes is Molly wearing, does she have a rash, is that a booger? What is funny is that I fuss over your hair and clothes and a couple of times I have gone to work forgetting to brush my hair. I worry that what I am doing to you today will mess you up in the future and let me tell you this is very stressful. My hair broke out in a mass of grey hair. YES, A MASS OF GREY HAIR!
I have loved every minute of you. I love watching you grow, you went from a 6 lbs, 10 oz baby to a 22 lbs little girl in just one year! This last month has been the biggest month of changes. You got your first tooth, you started crawling, you started standing on your own and you got your first hair cut. We have been able to do more things with you such as, bike riding and swimming lessons.
You have always been quite observant but now you will occupy yourself for a couple of minutes watching The Wiggles on TV, you even noticed last week that you had baby dolls to play with and now those are the preferred toys.
I look forward to the next year and the new experiences. I am learning this mommy thing as time goes along and only hope to get better. No matter what I do, I love you more than anything in the whole wide world.
Love,
Mommy
Molly at one year old.
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