Sick Days

Like most new mom's I call and go to the pediatrician, a lot. I never did think I got my money's worth when it came to my health insurance and had thought about canceling it several times when I was just covering myself. Now with Molly I am definitely getting my money's worth. I think it might be different if my mother was around to tell me that I don't need to go to the doctor because Molly's birthmark looks pinker today, than it did yesterday or that one hand looks bigger than the other or even that it is okay if she didn't poop at the same time she did the other day. I think mom's/grandma's can stop a lot of that unnecessary calling and harassing. Maybe the health insurance industry should look into that, really it would cost less to pay my mom for three months to stay at home with me that it would to pay all the doctor visits I did in the first three months of Molly's life.

When Molly was about four months old she started shaking. Her whole body would tense up and she would shake. Sometimes she would stop for a few seconds just to do it again. I of course called the doctor. I was working part-time and would work only on the days that Raymond was at home so of course she could get Molly in on the day I was at work.

Raymond the ever so loving papi took Molly to the doctor. Molly did this shaking episode while in the examination room and the doctor scheduled an appointment for us to see a neurologist that same afternoon. The doctor thought that she was having seizures. When Raymond called me, I ran out the door and meet them at the hospital. I know that I was sick with a feeling that something was wrong, I am tearing up just thinking about how I felt that day I was driving to the hospital. You can imagine, you have those same kinds of thoughts.

The neurologist hooked up a bunch of wires to my girl's head so that they could see what was happening in her brain and on the table she had the same shaking episode. I was happy that they could see it so they could witness what she was doing so we could get this fixed. After the doctor examined and looked at the EKG, he came to the determination that my girl, my precious baby girl has a temper. A TEMPER.

Apparently she was upset about something, learned that she could tense and shake her little body and get a reaction from me. How fun is this! I think my mom could have saved the health insurance a little bit of money on this one.

Now Molly is in day care. At first she went three days a week, now she goes 8-12 Monday through Friday but it does not matter the amount of time she is there because it is just enough time for her to pick up a toy, lick on it and get sick. At least one a month I have to call in sick. I am very lucky in that Raymond has a weird schedule and that he shares the calling in sick schedule, one day he will use sick time and then the next day I will. But I still feel that insecurity that everyone at work is looking at me and thinking that I call in sick too much. Maybe you don't know this feeling because you are the one giving the look and I ask you to please be kind, they might be a new mommy too and are running to the neurologist as we speak.

Potty Tales

My mom recommended that I get Molly a toilet training potty chair. I thought it was too soon but she said that sometimes we don't know when our babies are ready, and to just sit her down when I go. Not to train her but to get her used to the chair.

So I went and bought and cheapo potty from Wal Mart. When I had to use the bathroom, I brought Molly in with me, took off her pants and diaper and sat her down. Guess what happened next.........yes, she went number one in the potty! My husband assured me that she did not know what she was doing, that it was a fluke. Okay that makes sense but still, she went.

The next day we go up to the bathroom again. I sat her down, gave her a book and when we went to wipe up and wash hands guess what I found.....you guessed it, Molly went poo poo in the potty! My ever so loving husband told me once again that it is just coincidental. Maybe.

Today we went through the ritual and my girl did not let me down, she went number one in the potty! Fluke? Coincidence? Maybe, but please let me have it my girl did not get teeth or crawl until she was 11 months. My guess is that once she figures out she can stand right up from the chair this victory is O-V-E-R.

Birthday Party

We had Molly's birthday party this weekend. Things did not go as planned, but the day turned out good. We had relatives come from out of town and two of Molly's friends came to party it up with us.

I was not thinking about birthday gifts, so you can imagine my surprise by the amount of gifts Molly received. She got a lot of clothes (thank you, thank you, thank you!) or maybe I should say that the gifts were really for me because she received enough clothes to last her through the summer. We have a very long summer here so I should be good for a year or so. Seriously things are so expensive and I don't see how parents with more than one kid can keep them fed and clothed. Of course she is too young to understand and I know kids don't like getting clothes as gifts but mommies love it! My sister (who lives very far away) sent us cash and this is what I bought with the money.....

This is what I have learned:

1. Do not have birthday or any parties at house

2. Babies (and papi's) do not care that there is a party, they like their naps

3. I have to get over this whole idea of "planning a day"

4. Babies LOVE piñata's!

Molly's grandma bought this piñata for her, yes it was about three times the size of her and was a blast to watch small and big kids whack it!

Natural Disaster

How is it that two people, Molly and I, can mess up the house in a matter of hours. Usually after Molly goes to bed I have to clean, every night it needs to be clean but some days........I just don't care.

It looks like a tornado or Tasmanian devil came right down the middle of our living room/kitchen. I am supposed to care tonight because we are having company this weekend, for Molly's birthday party.

Just an FYI, NEVER, NEVER put down white tile in your kitchen. It is a never ending job.

Happy First Birthday, Molly

Molly 3 days old.

Dear Molly,

Happy Birthday, Baby. Today is not only your first birthday it also marks the one year anniversary of motherhood for me. This is a very important day and I had visions of all the things I was going to write to you, all the changes and all they ways you have effected my life. But baby, today was a bad day. I hate to say it but it was bad. I am not sure if it is the upper respiratory infection you are getting over, maybe new teeth coming in or that your nap schedule is all out of whack. It seems like everyone knew today was your birthday and you were supposed to have a good day, except for you.

We started off the day with you not wanting to wake up, then when I picked you up from child care about 1:00 pm, you fell asleep in the car. At 3:40 pm I decided I probably ought to wake you up because we had a picture appointment and I wanted you to sleep tonight. I would say this was a rookie mistake because you were very upset with me. At the portrait studio you did not want to sit still and wanted to crawl, crawl, crawl. You threw the biggest temper tantrum to date. I did not know what to do with you, I would have done anything to include: giving you a cigarette and a beer if it would have made you happy (and if it was social acceptable).

We wrapped up the day with a walk around the neighborhood. The weather has been so nice and you are most happy outside. At least our day ended in good spirits. So on the brighter side.................this year has been quite a year. I would have never guessed that such a little person can make such a big impact. Life has changed dramatically for me.

I have always been a selfish person and now my life revolves around you. How much milk did she have, how much food is she eating, did she have a poopies, what clothes is Molly wearing, does she have a rash, is that a booger? What is funny is that I fuss over your hair and clothes and a couple of times I have gone to work forgetting to brush my hair. I worry that what I am doing to you today will mess you up in the future and let me tell you this is very stressful. My hair broke out in a mass of grey hair. YES, A MASS OF GREY HAIR!

I have loved every minute of you. I love watching you grow, you went from a 6 lbs, 10 oz baby to a 22 lbs little girl in just one year! This last month has been the biggest month of changes. You got your first tooth, you started crawling, you started standing on your own and you got your first hair cut. We have been able to do more things with you such as, bike riding and swimming lessons.

You have always been quite observant but now you will occupy yourself for a couple of minutes watching The Wiggles on TV, you even noticed last week that you had baby dolls to play with and now those are the preferred toys.

I look forward to the next year and the new experiences. I am learning this mommy thing as time goes along and only hope to get better. No matter what I do, I love you more than anything in the whole wide world.

Love,

Mommy

Molly at one year old.

Betrayal

Molly has issues with going to bed in her crib. What she usually does is falls asleep in our bed and when we know she is good and out we move her to her crib. From here she usually sleeps through her nap or through the night and wakes up super happy.

Today Molly fell asleep in the bed, when she started snoring I moved her to the crib. Came down stairs to have some good old caffeine and about an hour later she woke up bawling.

I immediately came into her room and she was standing in her crib looking up at me like I had betrayed her, big time.

I picked her up, moved her into the bed and whispered, "I hope that this is the worst thing I ever do to you."

Changes

I don't know if it started with my idea that Molly needed to be entertained by me 24 hours or that I didn't want Molly to be like me...and that is, I can stay in my house without ever going outside as long as I have enough diet coke. (Yes, diet coke is bad for you but you don't know what I was putting in my body pre-molly) So, from the first moment I could, we went out.

I was not afraid to take her to the stores, we took many walks in the neighborhood, went to the park, went to dinner and went to the movies. Probably even some places that people would say weren't "baby appropriate".

Molly was so good in public, she loved looking around, loved when people talked to her. She was the best. What has changed with my girl? The last couple of days when we have gone out we have experienced something new. She is a ......dare I say.......brat? I need to go to the grocery store this afternoon and I am down right scared. She doesn't want to be carried, she doesn't want to sit in the cart, all she wants to do is crawl. I know she shouldn't be crawling on those gross floors but yesterday in Target I really need to compare car seats and so I let her play on the floor. Oh it's so gross! What happened to create this change? Her age? She isn't even a year old. Is she even allowed to throw a temper? Isn't this reserved for the "terrible two's"?

I have no diet coke so my guess is that I will brave it. Please, please let this be a tiny two day phase and bring back my sweet baby.

New to Blogging

I feel I should have started this blog when I was pregnant. Just to keep track of what I was feeling and what was going on so that I could share the journey with my baby. But when you are a first time mom you really don't know what having a baby means. I really did not know what I was getting myself into. I did not know that I was capable of loving something so much, yes really. I did not know I could love like this and this love made me want to write every journey down so that I know, my baby knows, the world knows that I LOVE.

Let me warn anyone who might possibly ever read this that I did poorly in English, I have no writing skills and just really write like I talk and that is; I ramble and jump from subject to subject. Most of the time I talk very fast and one sentence can sound like one word, especially when I am excited. So please don't judge, just remember that I am doing this to keep record of my journey and so that family and friends can keep track of my baby since we live so far away from everyone. I mean, she is the center of my world and of course that must mean that she is the center of everyone's world. Who wouldn't want to read that she had two poopies today?

So I thought I would start a facebook page to keep track of my baby's changes. Yes, I am that savvy. Facebook is not the place for these kinds of journaling. Then I saw that my Aunt had a blog on here and thought that this is where I should be keeping track and sharing my experience with my first and only child.

This is my blog to keep friends and family up to date on my daughter, Molly. As a first time mom I can't stop talking about Molly. I want to share every new thing she does and sometimes I will tell you twice. There are so many new things we are experiencing I am scared I will forget all the little things; I hope to document some of these journey's here.

Molly just turned 11 months old! I can hardly believe it. This month has been the month of all the new changes. She got her first tooth, she got her first hair cut, she started crawling and she loves walking with the assistance of your hands. I was so eager for all of these things to happen and now……….well now, I wish she would sit still.