ROAR!

Happy Halloween!

Grandma

My grandpa Bryce, grandma Peggy, my mother, Aunt Leslie and Aunt Kathy, Christmas of 1953.



I haven't been expressing my feelings or talking about this because I don't know how.

How do I say it?  How do I cope with it? 

I just don't know.

My rock, the only person in my life who I have always known where she would be, how to get a hold of her at any time, I still know the only two phone number she has had since my birth by memory, is gone.

During my childhood I have always lived near my grandma.  I lived one street behind her house, in an apartment across the Oligarchy ditch, lived with her during various times but always within in a 10 mile radius until I joined the Army.

I mowed her grass and dusted her elephants and angels (for a small price :)    ).  Had many of hot dogs wrapped in tortillas for dinner with her.  Made fun of her for keeping a huge stock pile of canned goods in her panty.  Spent a summer driving her around since I had a learner's permit and she had a hip replacement.  I wonder how many soft serve ice cream cones we had that summer?  We also spent hours in her sewing room making dolls, which I still have along with a few other dolls and afghans she made.

We spent every Christmas morning together.  Where ever we were she would come spend Christmas Eve with us to eat tacos and burritos and sleep on our couch only to have my sister and I wake her up super early.  This is a picture of once such Christmas morning.  I had to have been sitting beside her because of the stockpile of gifts beside her are definitely mine.  The doll I named "Tattoo" my mother made me and is in my hope chest with the other dolls I have been lugging around.

My favorite or maybe most unforgettable Christmas gift my grandma gave me....a pair of red polyester, lace trimmed handmade panties.

Here is a picture of one Christmas morning at my grandma's house. She made the dolls for me and my sister (I still have mine, mine is the yellow hair doll with the red dress).

After I joined the Army I always considered where my grandma was to be my home.  I always went back to her.  During the summer of 1992 I came home from Korea and my friend, Keith took these pictures.  They have always been my favorite because of the colors and because the first picture looks normal enough and the second picture you can tell she is pinching/tickling me.  It was always hard to tell what she was trying to do.

Summer of 1992

During this summer, while on leave we drove up to South Dakota where my mother and sister where.  My sister had just given birth to my nephew Tyler and we took a road trip to go see him.  I have had a few road trips with my grandma but, this one was the first one as an adult and we had real conversations where I really got to know her a bit more instead of the adult - child relationship we had previously.  Meaning she only nagged a few times about my driving.

My grandma had been battling cancer since March of this year.  I got to visit with her in March and in early September I missed my flight to go see her (Raymond got caught up at work and got home late), then I had a flight to go see her first weekend in October and she passed away a few days before I made it.  I am unsure how I feel about this, according to other family members she was not herself and I remember her how she was, I think I would have been scared to see her any other way then strong, sassy, intelligent woman that I thought she was.

I still have a reminder on my phone to call her every Wednesday and I just can't get myself to take the reminder of my phone.  Like maybe if I keep it there, she is really still in Nebraska and I can just call her later.

Random memories and photos:

I do not know the year of this photo but, thought she would like it because she looks so skinny.

This had to be 1982 or 83ish and I just thought it was a hilarious costume, she is Annie.

Didn't write the date on this photo either but it was a day trip up Trail Ridge Road, this had to be 1984ish, just due to my awesome hair style and the turned up collar.

Last picture I have.  She came to visit when Molly came home from the hospital March 2008.

 
I love her and I don't want to miss her.